Being the parent of a teen can be very challenging. Teens sometimes seem intent on doing exactly the opposite of what we ask. We have to try to remember that their job now is to find themselves as a person, to shape an identity and to figure out what’s important to them. They often feel that their integrity would be compromised by simply doing what we ask because we ask it. So discipline as we usually think of it often backfires with teens. If you come down like a sledge hammer, you can count on open rebellion. If you crack down on the rebellion instead of listening to your child’s reasons, you can count on your teen becoming a very good liar, and sneaking behind your back. If you have a warm, affirming, open relationship where your teen feels respected and respects you, if you have relied on lots of discussion to guide your child, then you can count on easier teen years. Your child will honor your rules most of the time and will initiate negotiations about the ones that don’t work for her. Also kids who aren’t punished, but are lovingly guided to make reparations and solve problems, are earlier to develop internal discipline and a strong moral sense–so your teen now has the ability to make the hard choices to do what’s right, regardless of what her friends are doing. However if you’ve relied on punishment to control your child , you may have difficulties because a parenting style that relies mostly on the threat of punishment doesn’t give a child the self discipline to manage himself. It’s time to shift to the kind of strong parent-child relationship that makes your child want to cooperate. So if you’ve been punishing, it isn’t too late.