Why does it seem like everyone gets to be angry, and be angry publicly, but Black women? Black women are expected be restrained and many of us are made to believe we have to be mindful of our tone and mannerisms because as soon as we speak up, we’re seen as a threat. In order to pacify people, we often become hyper vigilant with our behavior so we won’t be perceived as “The Angry Black Woman.” I’m here to tell you it’s ok to be angry and as Black women there’s plenty for us to be angry about, remember we have to deal with racism, sexism and many other problems, no one should blame us for being angry sometimes.
I’m not suggesting we should walk around in state of perpetual anger and misery, that is very unhealthy for anyone. However if something is upsetting you, express your feelings because holding it in will only make you feel worse and eventually you will let it out and maybe lash out at the person who wasn’t making you angry in the first place.
Holding in your angry can also cause lots of emotional stress and also physical health difficulties. Holding in anger can increase anxiety, depression, your blood pressure and cause you to develop ulcers.
It’s best to express your anger after you’ve had a little time to cool down. Expressing anger when you’re still very upset can cause you to be rageful and that often won’t get your point across. Sometimes it helps to write down why you’re angry or maybe take a step back and count to ten to calm yourself down. Once you’re calmer speak directly to the person you’re upset with, explain why you are angry, explore the ways to fix the problem and suggest a way to prevent a similar thing from happening again.
Remember not holding in your anger can actually help you to live a happier and healthier life.