It’s not too difficult to find a therapist but it can be difficult to know if you’ve found one who is right for you. The first step is often going on the internet and looking at Psychology Today, Therapy for Black Girls or other therapist directories. After you find a therapist it’s important to see if they are the right fit for you. Here are some questions to ask yourself to see if you’ve found the right therapist for yourself.
1. What does it feel like for you to sit with the therapist? Do you feel safe and comfortable? Is the person down-to-earth and easy to relate to or does he or she feel cold and emotionally removed? Is the therapist arrogant? If a therapist doesn’t feel like a good fit for you, that’s okay; there’s absolutely no contract or rule requiring you to continue working with any therapist. However, If you find yourself reacting negatively to every therapist you see, then the issue could be yours and may warrant your sticking it out with a therapist in an effort to work through your fears of beginning therapy.
2. What’s the therapist’s general philosophy and approach to helping? Does your therapist approach people in a compassionate and optimistic way? Does he or she believe humans are born loving and lovable?
3. Can the therapist clearly define how he or she can help you to solve whatever issue or concern has brought you to therapy? A therapist should be able to explain how they can help and be able to give you a basic “road map,” to their approach.
4. Can your therapist accept feedback and admit mistakes? A good therapist is open to feedback and to learning that something he or she said hurt or offended you. Good therapists are willing to look at themselves and to honestly and openly admit mistakes.
5. Does the therapist encourage dependence or independence? Therapy doesn’t solve your problems; it helps you to solve your own. Therapy doesn’t soothe your overwhelming feelings; it helps you learn to soothe your own feelings. If your therapist never encourages you to access your own resources, it is more likely you will become dependent on your therapist to help you feel better, rather than learning to depend on yourself.
6. Does the therapist have experience helping others with the particular issues for which you are seeking therapy? The more experience a therapist has addressing a particular issue, concern, or problem area, the more expertise they have developed.
9. Does the therapist make guarantees or promises? It’s important for a therapist to provide hope but not give absolute unconditional guarantees.
10. Is the therapist licensed? Licensure means that a therapist has engaged in postgraduate counseling experience which, depending on the state of licensure, may include up to 3,000 hours of required supervised experience. It also means the therapist has passed a licensing exam. There are many unlicensed therapists who have years of experience and do excellent work, but licensed therapists have (generally but not always) undergone more extensive supervision than unlicensed counselors. You can contact your state professional licensing board to verify the licensure of a provider.
11. Have any complaints been filed with the board? To see if a therapist has a record or is under investigation, you can check with your state licensing board for their profession.
Remember the most important thing is the relationship, if you feel comfortable and have a good rapport with your therapist then you know you’ve found the one for you.